wowzer browzer

in an effort to economize, i decided to get eyebrow shapings less frequently. a month and a half went by; they didn't look that bad. and then two and they were a bit spindly but passable. and then i forgot about it....

until the other day when i looked at myself in the mirror and, to my horror, realized that the two caterpillars had taken over my face. cripes. see for yourself:
so i made an appointment with a brow artist in slc. this brow artist woman works on all the "famous" people in utah according to her website (i am trying to think of who those people might be. carlos boozer doesn't really strike me as a metro sexual kind of guy. neither does president monson, maybe robert redford is her client?). anyway take a gander at her handiwork.
i feel like a woman again.

i am not going to say what brow artist charged, but i will say it is highway robbery. needless to say, i didn't save a cent....which means that walking around looking like i had two giant cocoons on my face for two months was totally pointless.

i hate when i try to be thrifty and it backfires.

Note Bien Mercedes

• they call them FIBER one bars for a reason. eating 5 per day, probably not a good idea

• to avoid depression: don't weigh yourself the morning after a late night pizza party.

• purchase gas mask. on the radio they said we are having a "yellow air" warning (have i mentioned how much i hate it here lately?)

• when you are working in a bridal store and an 18 year old girl comes in chomping on a wad of hubba bubba sporting bouffant bangs and forever 21's latest, and she tells you she wants a simple, elegant wedding gown, don't actually show her one. what she really wants is the most gawdy thing you can find: pickups, long trains, 80's style silhouettes, lady gaga inspired embellishments etc. this would do:

• the verbal sparing that takes place during the post state of the union commentary does not, apparently, compare to watching jimmer fredette drain threes.

• just because you have the urge to say "farmer blow" every time you see/say/hear the name jimmer fredette does not mean you should. one should at least try to keep up the pretense of being a lady ( in my defense, i think the yellow air might is getting to me).

resos

not long ago i realized that i have been making the same new year's resolutions since i was 12: stop biting nails, be nicer to my family, write in journal every day, make a quilt, be more artistic, do 500 situps each night....

if you think that after 16 years i'd make some progress on at least some of these fronts, you'd be mistaken. i am still the same moody, nail-biting, canadian-tire-sporting girl i was as a teenager.

admitting that kind of made me feel like crap, so i gave up on resolutions all together for awhile. i decided that resolutions are just a total waste of time, and failure is inevitable, and improvement is impossible and all kinds of other not very uplifting things.

this year i have stared to wonder, however, if the reason i have always been unsucessful with my new years goals is because i keep focusing on things that i either don't like or am not that good at naturally (i mean quilting, seriously).

isn't that how it is supposed to work though, you set a goal to improve at something you aren't very good at? yes. but does it have to be? why on earth to i think i need to be a quilter? why not just focus on becoming better at something i am already good at or like doing?

so i am trying it. next year i will have read the paper every day, have increased my scrabble average to 430 (on two person games), i will try a new recipe each week, and i will become a math master.

i'll let you know how it goes. here i am honing my scrabble skills over christmas with michael and gma and gpa white. what do you think of my christmas uniform? i wore that number for about 4 days straight. i didn't shower either. miraculously my husband still finds me attractive.

i heart cowtown

since 14 i had one goal: get out of dodge. as far as i was concerned calgary was the most miserable, boring, uninspiring place on earth. my recent trip home, however, had me appreciating cowtown to a degree heretofore unfathomable.

calgary had me at free wireless at the airport, but i fell hook, line, and sinker over:

1. free luggage carts at the airport

2. sobey's: it makes whole foods look like reams
(if you don't know what reams is, consider yourself one of the lucky ones).

3. my parents' steam shower, where i spent about 12 hours a day.
(don't worry mom i squeegeed the ceiling after i used it)

4. the great canadian stupidstore. two words: joe fresh.

5. alberta beef

6. free health care
(NOT a word michael!)

this list, of course, doesn't include the obvious things like....family...friends... or fernando.

ex-pats out there, what are your favorite things about the motherland?

Unhappy Feet

if you have a foot fetish....just stop now.
(i guarantee after seeing this you will think i am the nastiest person that ever walked the face of the earth.)

this is what happens when your feet get cold and wet and you ignore them:

(and just in case you are interested, it itches like the dickens)

this is what happens when you have weird shaped feet that you cram into cross country ski boots that are a little on the small side. (it was totally worth it though. j'adore le ski nordique.)

between the blisters and the swollen toes i can barely walk. i have been complaining for three days nonstop about my aliments. michael is sick of hearing about it. posting pictures is my shameless attempt to garner more sympathy.

dearest feet: i get it. i won't ignore you anymore. as a reward for your long-suffering, michael promises to treat you to many pedicures in 2010.

Haute Pizza (ie not frozen)

it is no secret, we like our frozen pizza. we probably eat it 3 times a week (and we will probably die of preservative overload by age 35). in an effort to actually make food (what a novel idea) and to try something a bit healthier, i decided to make my own pizza.

i call it...

blue moon

roasted butternut squash puree

caramelized onions
spinach
mozzarella
blue cheese

i couldn't keep my paws of this thing. michael is lucky he even got a piece.

so here is what i want to know:
what are your favorite ingredients to put on a pizza?

Cry Baby

maybe it was a bad case of pms...
maybe it was the full moon...
or maybe i am deeply emotionally disturbed person...

but on tuesday night i came home from work, made love to a bowl (or two) of parsley parmesan pasta and proceeded to cry my way through:

biggest loser
(i hate working out. 400 pounders freak me out. that jillian lady is SCARY. but, come elimination i was bawling along with everyone else. i am a cliche).

a sportscenter special
(about a kid who is obsessed with the USC football team and recently became blind).

25 pages of people of the book by geraldine brooks.
(tolstoy, she's ain't, but i've have a firm policy of being and equal opportunity crier when it comes to stories of unrequited love.)

viva la vida
(ya it's by coldplay. i know by admitting this i am going to lose my music street cred, but who am i to argue with tears...)

and then i fell asleep which is usually the best solution for the mad blues or the mean reds or whatever it is i have.

of course, a trip to tiffany's might help too....