My life is not as bad as I think it is

We are moving. 

To Alabama. 
I am ambivalent. 

I am excited to bomb around the South (Soul Food! Rosa Parks Museum! Gulf Coast!) .
But leaving this crazy state is going to be harder than I thought.  

I will miss: 
my dear friends, 
my job,  
my mountain home, 
and Winco (dude grocery shopping will never be the same for me.)

Some mornings I get anxious and depressed as hell. When that happens, I make a list of all the reasons the sky isn't falling.  

For example:
I still have my job, I'm just working remotely.  
We'll be living in a "foreign country."
My hair is peach....and so on.

But sometimes mental notes don't cut it.  Sometimes a girl need visual reminders--and when that happens (which is pretty much every day) I look at these and say out loud, "Mercedes your life is not as bad as you think it is because....."

1. you are not wearing this cone of shame. 

 2. this bird did not just poop on your head. 

 3. no one is making you eat breakfast. 

 4. your skin is not this saggy. 

 5. this evil child did not just pee on you. 

 6. you are not famous for being morbidly obese.

 7. you are still a woman. 

 8. your husband does not kiss like this. 

and so on. 
inspired by buzzfeed, a nice non-chemical alternative to prozac. 


leah jane said...

a. I am sad we won't be living in the same state anymore, even though we never have actually gotten together, while you are living so close it seems inevitable that we will.

b. What is this foreign country you will be inhabiting for the summer?

c. Alabama sounds rock hard awesome!! Congrats!

Bonnie White said...

I remember when your mountain home was not at all desirable, and when a river valley city was horrid. You have a way of discovering a place's beauty and quirky must dos that become endearing. I have great faith in your peeling away the awful artichoke appearance and discovering your unique version of Sweet Home Alabama.

Mercedes said...

rock hard....yessssss!

except for one small problem, which is that i don't know how to "rock hard."

maybe i should take a class. get local!

nikki said...

Oh Mercedes.... It has been too long since I have cruised my blog roll, but this post made me so happy I laughed out loud. I love your sense of humor and miss it around these parts. Hope Alabama is treating you alright... Alabama. Wow. I lived in the panhandle of Florida which is kind of the south but you are really in the south. Do tell more. Miss your face.