Note Bien Mercedes

• they call them FIBER one bars for a reason. eating 5 per day, probably not a good idea

• to avoid depression: don't weigh yourself the morning after a late night pizza party.

• purchase gas mask. on the radio they said we are having a "yellow air" warning (have i mentioned how much i hate it here lately?)

• when you are working in a bridal store and an 18 year old girl comes in chomping on a wad of hubba bubba sporting bouffant bangs and forever 21's latest, and she tells you she wants a simple, elegant wedding gown, don't actually show her one. what she really wants is the most gawdy thing you can find: pickups, long trains, 80's style silhouettes, lady gaga inspired embellishments etc. this would do:

• the verbal sparing that takes place during the post state of the union commentary does not, apparently, compare to watching jimmer fredette drain threes.

• just because you have the urge to say "farmer blow" every time you see/say/hear the name jimmer fredette does not mean you should. one should at least try to keep up the pretense of being a lady ( in my defense, i think the yellow air might is getting to me).