on zumba

we joined a gym. there are lots of nice machines, rooms for group classes, racquetball courts, two pools, a climbing wall and some basketball courts. there is a lot i could do there, but, for the most part all i've wanted to do is hang out in the steam room.

my rationale: steam rooms, like working out, involve lots of sweating. but then someone reminded me that they don't require much in the way of personal effort.....

but zumba does. so this week i tried it.

now i'm just going to go ahead and say it: i judge a book based on its cover. had i seen a zumba class before actually attending a zumba class there is no way in H. E. double hockey sticks i would have gone.

why?

because at our gym zumba class consists of a bunch of former cheerleader cougar types shaking their bon-bons for an hour. i don't so much have a problem with old timers shaking it like a polaroid picture. what freaks me out is when the class is full of ladies who have 20 year old bodies and a 75 year old faces (presumably from spending too much time in the toaster tanning oven). but then again....that is sandy, utah for you.


so i am standing there waiting for the class to start and kind of feeling like an idiot because:
1. i have a 12 year old face and a 80 year old body.
2. i do not have a tan.

but then the music came on, lady gaga's poker face, and before i knew it i was bouncing around with the best of them. the high point came when we did a bollywood inspired dance.

i liked that one so much that i came home and downloaded the song so i can PRACTICE at home.....because i think i have found my new passion in life: being a zumba bollywood dancer. forget law school. i'm going to make it in bombay!

oh ya. and i am really sore. the kind of sore where you can't lay on your back at night because the pressure from the weight of your body on your backside really hurts.

no pants. no problem: day 4

thoughts:

1. it is cold out and i am not in the mood for a dress* right now.
2. we are still having picture problems.....
3. what makeup colours do well for red heads? i think i'm looking a little washed out.

skirt: gap, sweater: tory burch for bergdof goodman, tights: gap, shoes....oh you can't see 'em.
the gap has been a goldmine lately....seriously diggin' it.
*oh and when i say dress....i usually mean skirt

no pants. no problem: day 3

friends: getting michael to take a picture of me where i don't look pregnant or high is turning out to be tricky. in this picture i look like a gnome. the thing is that beyond point and shoot, when it comes to cameras neither of neither of us have the first clue what we are doing. can anyone give us some hints?!?!

skirt: gap, turtleneck: gap, boots: i dunno, i think macy's, bedding: dwell studio for target.

no pants. no problem: day 2

well. well . well. here we are again.

here i am in a dress. again. looking every inch a lady.

sweater: jcrew, shirt: gap, skirt: anthropologie, boots: frye, necklace: jcrew

no pants no problem

did you know there is a whole genre of blogs wherein people post pictures of what they wear?

there is.

these hipsters (and sometimes not so much) put pictures of their outfits on the interwebs every.single.day for blogger stalkers like you and me to look at.

i know. shocking.

and even though i must admit, i think it's a bit vainglorious to take a picture of your outfit and put it on your blog every.single.day....my opinion of these types probably trends more glorious than vain.

if i posted what i wear every.single.day more often than not you'd be looking at me in my pajamas, or if i was feeling ambitious, sweaty workout clothes. (whatever. sweat is hot.)

this is a problem.

it's a problem because when flannel and baggy are your criteria for choosing what to wear, 9/10 you are going to end up feeling like a fat frump which we all know is bad for mental health etc.

i've been feeling like a fat frump so much lately that i decided to set a new years resolution. my goal isn't to loose weight, or get toned up. oh no. my goal is much less ambitious. it is:

GET DRESSED (more often).

i'm just getting around to it. inspired by my new favorite genre of blog, i figured i'd get the ball rolling on this goal by posting pictures of myself every.single.day dressed in non-sleepwear . but then i got to thinking, why stop at just getting dressed when i can get dressed up. so this week i will also be wearing a dress/skirt every.single.day.

we'll see if i feel less fat, less frump and more like a lady, more grown up.

here i am today:

shirt: jcrew, skirt: anthropologie, belt: jcrew, boots: frye, tights: target

ways to combat S.A.D.

1. make netflix your new best friend.

2. buy a large tub of red vines at costco. hoard them.

3. dye your hair* ** ***.

* don't worry mom it is a temp--i'll be back to blond in no time. it was either this or cut it all off.
** since red fades from washing, i plan on not stepping foot in a shower for about 5 weeks.
*** yes, i agree. i look like a russian mail order bride.

(i love it)

Notes from the Chocolate Society

people at the chocolate society take chocolate seriously.

only eat dark chocolate serious.
would rather their kids eat dirt than the likes of lindt, godiva or bernard callebaut serious.
smell their chocolate before they eat it serious.
suck on it and spit it out serious.

it sounds annoying, but it is actually pretty charming to be around people who are so passionate--and i've learned a lot from them.

and

i feel like a bit of a poser because guess who has several bars of hershey chocolate in her pantry.....

and

for anyone interested, amedei tuscano black 70% extra dark chocolate will change your life.

logical reasoning

if you join the chocolate society of salt lake city, then your chocolate consumption will go through the roof. if your chocolate consumption goes through the roof, then you will gain weight. if you gain weight, then you will not fit into your clothes. if you do not fit into your clothes, then you will have a mental breakdown every single morning when you get dressed.

so

if you join the chocolate society, then you will have a mental breakdown every morning when you get dressed.

i joined the chocolate society of salt lake city....

take a stab at how my mornings have been lately.

back to the blob*

a couple of weeks ago i was in a meeting with some people. during a lull in the conversation, one of the attendee's turned to me and said:

"i read your blog. you are kind of off the wall."

the way it was said, i couldn't tell if being "off the wall" was intended as a compliment. i wasn't really getting the vibe that is was.....inside i cringed. i was embarrassed. i felt like a bloomin' idiot. so on the drive home i was thinking about all the ways to avoid feeling these kinds of things....

the truth is the person who said i was "off the wall" has NO IDEA how nutty i really am. my blog is a pretty pithy representation of what i think and feel. i've got oodles of unpublished posts. posts i decided not to put up because i thought they might make me look stupid or crazy or hurt people's feelings. i haven't been brave enough to open myself up that much and i haven't wanted to be judged based on something i wrote on my blog. the truth is judgment is unavoidable. and in my case,in trying to protect myself from judgment, i've lost my voice. straight up lame.

for me, the solution isn't going private. only expressing things in safe space won't help me learn to better articulate my ideas. it won't help me find the courage i need to say hard things when they need to be said. it won't help me learn to be a more diplomatic writer.

so this year....my blog is going to be me. real mercedes. all of me...most of me...more of me than you have seen in the past (this being open stuff is kind of scary--and the oprah expose on blog security doesn't exactly help) so if you read something and you think...."man that mercedes is kinda nuts"...yes i kinda am.

*on one of the blogs i read the author calls her blog her BLOB. i just love that and imitation is flattery and all that stuff.